I’ve thought about my grand-opening of coming back here, to the blog, to you guys, to myself for a while now. But nothing surfaced in those moments,but perhaps it wasn't supposed to then. Because at this moment, as I greet you guys after two long years, it all seems so normal and effortless. As if this was all still so perfectly designed for me, to greet you guys once more.
So much is different now. I'm different, you're different, this world wow it's all so different. I can't possibly clam all my life lessons, created boundaries, and latest updates in. It'll roughly take me just about another 365+. I'm back, but then again I don't wish to mislead you all. Let's just say I'm here for now, beating my Ego of self-doubt, despair, and misguidance.
Just what do you call a break like the one I've created for myself? Self-care? No. A mental health crisis? No. The welcoming of life, adulthood, and some crushed dreams? Perhaps.. I've always been dramatic, but this break is indescribable for me. I needed my voice here once more, more than any business I ever held with ever taking a break. Here I was most free, happy, reliable, and structured. I'm guessing, that is why I've decided to return just to feel those things once more.
I've changed more than I could possibly ever paint a picture for. But, my words tend to always create such a picture for myself and others. So hopefully, you aren't troubled here by confusion.
I've learned that experiences are abnormal. Love is painful and also pleasurable, everything but simple. I've outgrown old friends, habits, and limited headspace. I'm living a life of indescribable feeling and caging change. Constantly.
My idea of reminiscing is always met with all I'd become, with missing high-school, friends I knew back then, to the luxury of staying under my mother's roof and relying solely on her for all my everyday needs. But, if I would have stayed in high school, with those friends, and under my mother's roof, I wouldn't be able to speak to you from this perspective. This perspective of college experiences, lifelong friends, tremendous lessons, internal work and my own space to call mine and my beautiful boy.
I'm becoming such a beautiful being, a beautiful woman, and I am now learning that slowing down is okay. Living within my means of life is my closet bliss to fame and fortune. God blessed me with such a skill set of thought, that I'm both intrigued and sometimes exhausted by my thoughts.. I remember my high-school days of being in such a rush to grow older, to get my own space, to finally say "I'm grown", when it's honestly the greatest scam dressed in fancy, cheap lining.
Life is a rollercoaster. No good outweighs any bad, while no bad ever outweighs any good. Life is all about balance as I'm learning to weigh them both, proportionally.
My emotions are enraged in both pure bliss and bittersweet memories. I'm so happy to be here once more, it reminds me of home. I always write when I'm feeling better and here I am writing to feel better. No testimony here, just me dressed in growth, faith, some failures, resilience, and silent battles. A couple years have done it for me, but I needed the separation to truly feel and learn all in which I have. The years have made me so much stronger. Now, I'm here to simply be free!
I'm queasy inside as the words continue to flow the more my fingers move, it must be God. I was led and guided here once more by God. I needed my voice once more and it always flowed so freely here, with my words, and you guys.
NEW YEAR, NEW VOICES
Happy New Year! Welcome 2023. The year of YES, as me and my dearest friend Taylor calls it. I didn't expect to be blogging this year or maybe this soon. But, God works in such mysterious ways, and along the way God has given me a greater voice. A voice so well, that I'll use it to help others and talk more with you all. And in case you didn't know, our voices are located in our laryngeal system, the power source for speech. And as you use your voice you're exercising your vocal folds, a sling like structure located in your larynx.
Speaking is always viewed as something done so freely and effortlessly, but imagine those who struggle to use their voices. What does your voice mean to you? What does being heard mean to you? Imagine having concerns, questions, or an opinion all while being voiceless, how would you do it? Most couldn't imagine being mute or muted for all that mattered, but a power source is needed and it's required to perform well. What if I told you guys, I'm able to help someone's power source all while being their voice while they're temporarily voiceless? Is it hard to believe? I hope not, because I am currently making it all possible.
My voice has always done me well, most times at least. It's something about my speaking that makes others want to listen even if my speaking isn't all that well. Maybe it's the sound of my voice or the way I convey others with my tone, either way it works and I'm studying to help others make their voice work just as beautifully. How do you choose to exercise your voice?
Mini Update
I say all that to say, I've entered the world of speech-language pathology (SLP). I dumped biology, and eventually stopped feeling so terrible for it. It wasn't for me, and I'm learning so many things that won't be for me. The desire could be there temporarily with anything, but what sticks is what matters. And Biology? Dr.Patrick? It all just didn't stick.
I've become a dog mom. But, I don't use the term dog lightly. I'm a mother!! I have a one year old son, Tobi. He's so perfect to me and everyone he falls in contact with. I'm growing and adapting to life and all its curve balls, and boy life is something. I could almost fathom a complete list of my do's and don't, but truthfully I'm still figuring it all out. I'm better than yesterday and the past two years, that's sorta all I can confirm at the moment. I'm learning to ditch my Ego and second all my thoughts if needed, because being truly grateful is easier said than done.
I've always been so happy and full here, and that's just enough to keep me coming back. Even if an extended break happens, every once in awhile. But, I hope you guys join me on this renewal journey of influence, life, and advocacy. And with my warmest regards, welcome back X's to Label-x the blog!
Best,
TP