ground state
/ˈɡround ˌstāt/
noun
the lowest energy state of an atom or other particle.
Greetings, my dearest Xs! I rather jump right in, if you guys don’t mind? Great! Just a couple of weeks ago, I was formally introduced to the term ground-state in my chemistry class, and since then the term resonated. Perhaps it resonated because my brain had been pounded of its literal definition in the following week, or because I recently sat at my kitchen table feeling extremely low. Either way, I was inspired to write and catch up with you guys. Well, mostly because I felt rather connected to the term ground-state.
You’re probably like what Trinadè? A ground-state refers to an atom via the definition, well you do know we’re made up of atoms right? But anyway, I won’t jump all scientific on you. Though, the lowest energy state seemed all too common for me, and perhaps you too.
I recall not making my bed for weeks straight, just a simple roll out of bed and go type of thing. My college days have officially started to run into one another, and every day is just another day. Study. Eat. Sleep. The cycle hasn’t changed, and neither has the days and nights of endless studying.
The first semester was new; extremely exciting. The second semester, on the other hand, isn’t such a walk in the park.
Have you ever felt your best still wasn’t enough? Well, that’s currently me in my ground- state. Is majoring in biology for me? That’s the question that troubles me most throughout my endless cycle of studying, eating, and sleeping. Can I do this? Better yet, will I do this? Furthermore, how will I do this?
The struggle is real. I’ll admit it, honestly. In college, it's so easy to compare your education to others around you. I know, because I’m 100% guilty of this.
The endless partying.
Those who are always on the go.
Those who carry bright smiles along campus.
My question is just how, how do you seemingly manage and still succeed? I’m a simple girl, so it’s always one or the other. And just which do you believe I choose? STUDYING, OF COURSE! But, endless studying and worrying have made me reach my lowest state. This is why my days happen to overlap; I’m living within a constant ground-state.
I can’t grasp my balance correctly, though I must. In order to survive and live out great experiences of college, outside of just studying. I’m suffocated in doubts, what-ifs, and the undeniable thoughts of failure. And, those feelings are a bit harder to push away, well at least for me.
I. WANT. TO. BE. A. DOCTOR. SO. BAD. I knew it’ll be hard and require dedication, but never would I have imagined I’d doubt my abilities this much! Though, I will be a doctor.
I feel as an incompetent doctor as of right now, who’s misdiagnosed her patient. The more i doubt myself, fail a quiz or test, or just roll out of bed. I committed to NOT changing my major on college entry, and that commitment still lies. Maybe it's my pride or extreme urge to be successful that won't allow it. And after all, nothing is impossible.
Though, this commitment seemingly has me locked in an empty cell, simply pacing from wall to wall. It’s not ideal, I know. But, others have done it and survived, and I’ll be there one day.
Referring to myself earlier, about those who portrays having it all balanced in school and their social lives, do they?
I’ll say this is my testimony, to some little boy or girl who decorates my office room one day, asking Dr.Patrick what’s an Optometrist? And how can I be like you?
Only then, I’ll know this feeling of being in this ground-state my freshman year of college was all worth it.
Encouragement
I‘ve just now felt so nakedly vulnerable. But, I know others feel or have felt the same in whatever their goal may be. So listen, whoever you are or whatever you plan on becoming, continue on. Someone was once in your shoes, and they succeeded so others as you could know it’s in arms reach! Pick your head up, and try again until it’s labeled illegal to try anymore. Your fullest potential will test you beyond measures, but you got it! So many people root for you, and if not I (Trinadè) do.
Life has been tough lately, for us all. Well, despite the pandemic or, (bandemic) as we’ve all called it lately lol. But, I’m sure you’ve made promises to yourself, and don’t you ever break them! Even though the thought crosses at times, you will overcome your ground-state eventually.
A great doctor, nurse, entrepreneur, artist, or whoever you may desire to be, is attainable and deserves to have your name behind it or on it!
This is still your pre-phase! But, phase one will welcome you with great arms and congrats!
If someone else did it, what’s stopping you from achieving it as well? Because apparently, it’s not impossible!
Let your testimony lie upon the lines of, I thought this was impossible, but I knew I was capable, therefore I did it. We hear too many testimonies, just to believe ours isn’t somewhere near!
I say be great for a reason, and that goes for myself too! Sending love and light, and as always BE GREAT Xs, even while creating your testimony. One day, I’d like to hear your testimonies because I know you will serve your purpose out!
The lowest state or as I once called it the ground-state is one of many levels in reaching your highest peak. Your lowest state will ultimately welcome your highest, therefore this void of emotions we all sometimes feel, is a controlled process. We got it!
Love,
- Trinadè Patrick
p.s. this is just a chapter in your life, not your whole story. be gentle with yourself; how you grow and learn to accomplish things!
happy exam week to myself, and all of you too! best luck!