Darkness comes and swallows us all whole. We’re only human, never immortal or selfless darkness visits. Our deepest thoughts rest of the impossible to fix, perhaps feelings or hidden secrets. They come and go as we allow, as humans we trudge these thoughts away, we hide them, and we front as if they’ve never existed.
We learn to mourn in secret. Though our mourning always rests within the “what if’s”, what if I said it or handled this differently, then maybe I wouldn’t be so this or that..”. We burn off all the things we truly can’t, nor ever will be able to fix, it’s simply out of reach. Perhaps, we had control over that relationship or thought before, though now we no longer do. We let that eat us dry, we crave to desperately find answers we’ll never no longer have. But, as humans it’s not enough. It’s never enough.
We’re needy beings, especially to things we rest most passionate about. Why? What? How? Explain. Humans never stop, we’re unstoppable towards anything we crave.
Life rewards us all, whether it’s with happiness, love, wealth, and etc. Those things are appreciated and cherished, until they are no longer valuable to one as it once was. Receiving life rewards are always honorable, at first at least, until your mind drift elsewhere and newer things gain your interest. You could love your job or your girlfriend/boyfriend until one day, you just don’t. Or your job or girlfriend/boyfriend could just stop loving you. Either way, the change happens and you’re left juggling the aftermath.
At first, the change is unexplainable, and you don’t really understand how to feel. Everyone’s first attempt would be to look over towards the brighter side of things, and think "Maybe this is good". “Maybe, change is good and this will all be better in due time”, though as time prolongs you realize this change is devastating. You push to feel and look better, you strive to outreach the limitations of sadness, depression, and hatred. Though, you’re haunted day in and day out.
Your thoughts swarm, until you go over all your wrongs, step by step in hopes of finding an answer. But, you hardly ever will, unless it’s just obvious. Though, most answers aren’t.
What if you approached work differently?
What if you smiled instead of frowning drastically at your coworkers?
What if you accepted that morning donuts, instead of seeming too good?
What if you loved; honored your lover harder?
What if you spent more quality time together, instead of blurred in your phone during dates?
What if you showed appreciation just a tad bit more?
What if what if…
As a person you go your entire life dreaming, you dream until you’re no longer a dreamer. Us people dream until we’re accomplishers of our goals; fulfilled purposes. That’s the plan, you work day in and day out to ensure those dreams become reality. Though, once a goal or dream has come and gone you shouldn’t still hinder it. Especially goals such as crappy jobs you worked to survive college, or the no good spouse who didn’t honor nor love you as much as he/she could either.
Humans feel, humans feel until they no longer can’t. No matter how much one may seem heartless, it’s always the “what if.” You spend the remainder of your life wondering, just how could you have approached someone or something differently to be better off. Emotionally and or physically humans love to feel better. Better ensure life is lived properly. Better is simply always best. As I mentioned before, life is lived through seasons, and each season ranges differently.
Your "what if" is now someone else's better. It hurts to know yes, but I rather you know instead of dream of the impossible. Life returning exactly how it was is impossible. Perhaps you miss the carelessness of your old job or the beginning stages of your past lover's love. You rather go back into the season of joy, though that season of joy prepared you for a season of greatness instead.
You can’t reminisce joy, when greatness is knocking at your doorstep waiting for an answer. Seasons come and go for reasons. Reasons we as people may hardly understand in the moment of thinking of all the “what if’s.”
Think of a ladder, you have the ground, the start of the ladder, and the ending of the ladder. You must fumble in life to build the courage of climbing the ladder(the ground), right? Right. You get a few feet up the ladder, and it’s looking up for you, and you’re starting to feel good! But, the bottom of the ladder never beats the top. The top is always better, always strive for the top (the best). You feel superior, accomplished, and you look towards a greater reward once at the top.
Your “what if’s” keeps you closer to the ground and bottom of your milestone ladder. Though, the top past your “what if” phase is a better reward. Perhaps, a greater paying CAREER in which you actually enjoy, and your husband or wife instead, not just a girlfriend/boyfriend. The “what if’s” build you, into welcoming the greater gifts.
Are you still following me? I hope so, because your greatness will never be found in your “what if” phases. Ever heard the phrase, “What’s for you will never pass you by?” Believe it, because it’s true! If the job or spouse were for you, they’d never pass you by. What’s for you, is indeed already yours or yours to come.
Next time you palm your hand onto your face out of frustration, remember what’s for you will never pass you by. And also, NEWS FLASH your “what if’s” are hindering you perhaps more than you’d ever know. Because, once your heart and soul simulates as one we listen, as humans because it feels better. But, perhaps your mind, what does your mind say? If you’re stuck in a place of “what if’s”, then you’ll possibly risk your moment for a breakthrough of greater.
Ditch your “what if’s”, and claim what’s rightfully yours. Find your ladder, climb your ladder, and hit the peak of your ladder expecting greater. We’re moved by forces, and your force starts with you letting go of your “what if’s.” Still dream, still wonder, but understand when something is no longer for you.